CLOTHES?

Its finally getting cooler but its been so hot its like wearing clothes actually hurts! Sweat drips down your head, off your nose and your underwear is so soaked, you can't stand it. We go from one air conditioned spot to another except when we are out in the yard or out in the neighborhood. Lordy, how did our mothers and grandparents stand it without air??Well, they worked early in the morning, ate a good dinner and then..we were forced to take a nap. My grandmother would pull the shades, crank up the little black rotary fans, give us a damp washrag, change into her slip..yes, she wore a slip and a dern corset every day of her life. So there we all were, in 1949, sweating and laying on the beds, trying to be quiet. Good grief, that quiet time lasted for about 3 hours. It was so hard for me, at 9, to be still and quiet, the outside calling me, the hunting dogs wiggling around under the house(it sat on tall brick pillows) and me wanting to go and crawl under there with them and play! Along with the DDT my Uncle put under there and on them for fleas!..
That was actually the only time we could sit outside at night and not have any mosquitoes and gnats..when they sprayed the cotton fields with DDT...hey, it worked!! But the time finally passed and all of us got up, dressed, spashed water on our faces and , if it was Sunday, we visited.
Geez, I was forced to go and visit (wearing a dress with a pinafore over it) , to see all the cousins, aunts, uncles, that were all over the county, having just gotten up from their naps and dressed and were waiting for company. We had tea, sometimes a soda and homemade cake or cookes mostly all the places...finally we could get home and ..undress...and I was freed to go outside and harrass the chickens, pet the mule, run from the new calf, play with the dogs!! until leftovers for supper and then at dark, back to the very warm bedroom, another washcloth, a paper fan and try to sleep! mosquitoes love it when there is not air conditioning. But the dressing part was ingrained in my Mother and Aunts forever. When they retired and moved in together in 1970 in Springfield...they spent the morning getting dressed to go down town to the post office to get the mail..because everyone was there getting their mail! And again every afternoon after nap time, dressed to recieve company..in cast someone came..and someone always did..and they were dressed too..it was polite and expected and we have come a long way Baby ..now dressing is a clean pair of shorts, a tank top without food on the front and flipflops with no bite marks from dogs in them!! My Aunt Amy dressed until she couldn't...even at 80, driving her great big ol Chrysler to come to Columbia to see me..she dressed and had her hair fixed..a girdle, heels and her bouffant hair..I always asked her why she spent so much time doing that and she always said, "I couldn't come to town just any old way and I want your friends and people at work to see me looking nice" made me feel like a slump...still feel like a slump...just put on clothes to go outside and wish I had that sense of pride and Lord knows, wish I had a post office to go to.
I feel bad I know my family could be a lot prouder of me if I looked nicer and put on some make up and fixed my hair but darn, its a lot of trouble and its tooooo hot!~

RESPECT

There are many ways to show respect to another. It has to do with respecting their things, their feelings, their ways and them. Strong women are good at respect.

They can take over a situation, bad or good, and help without pushing the button of the person being helped.

We have ruined our men. I don't think the womens lib thing did it. I think we have become such strong women that they think we CAN do it all and when we ask for some help with a situation, they resent it. If only they were to know the truth. We stong women get tired..we get tired of "handling" everything all the time. The house, the bills, the car, the yard, the kids, the jobs, the meals, everything. Your moms and grandmoms did it all the time but the men then were at war, out in the fields, were the only ones working every day and they were really tired and needed a strong woman at home. Men can do everything too, they just need to know that its the little things that they do that count a lot toward being loved back. It does not matter if you are the greatest lover in the world, if you can not respect your woman and your family. Let me tell you, when a woman looses respect for a man, they might still care for them but it's a far cry from the love she had. Sometimes showing your strong woman you care isn't grabbing her ass as she walks by or her boobs as she works on something on the computer. Its taking care of some bills, washing clothes, keeping the yard neat, doing a little more than asked. That gets you more loving than any "grab" can. Strong women need more support than the other, they carry a larger burden and reach that breaking point too.

The "yes Honey" woman doesn't speak for herself she has become whatever the man wants her to be and whatever he does is fine and that might work for some but not for those of us

that are "Women Who Run With The Wolves"...

SAVE THOSE MEMORIES!

You know how crazy your new man gets when he finds some of your crap from the earlier boyfriends? Well, no matter how he whines, begs, threatens, don't you go and throw it away just to please him. You will regret it and wish you had it back later. I know. I did just that probably about 4 times and I wish like hell I had them back. My first husband found my diaries and pictures from high school and pitched such a fit, I got mad and moved all my stuff back home. Until my mama made me move right back..that same night! Well, I relented and destroyed it in front of him...stupid, stupid, I should have just hid it all. Well, the second husband got mad when he saw all the pictures and crap from the first one and DEMANDED that I throw it away that same day. Hell, i knew better than to pack and go back to mama....there wasn't room by then and she would have made me come back anyway. Nooooooo don't do it. You will wish you had those famous pictures of school, football games, college parties, vacations in a druken fog and all the blackmail you took and was taken of you! Hide the school annuals and all letters and cards, bury them, put in a lock box but don't throw it away!!! Someday you will be alone and you just might want to bring it all back...

back....All the proms, like the one I had 2 dates for and had to break one..he got mad and broke his hand on his car hood! haha. The nights you parked in a car and made out...it was sooo hard in a prom dress and crinolin petticoats...and besides, sometimes the cops would come and knock on your window and tell you to go home..That was when it was safe to park. And the graduation pictures under the flower arch when your date switched your high school ring on your finger and you kissed (nope, no pic of that either) but I gave him a kiss the chaperones were heading for the fire extingushiers....oops spell ck...and all the guys in between, at beach parties or lake parties where pj was plentiful and you could throw up in the water..Hey, we moms and little ol grey haired grannies HAD A LIFE..and some of us had speicy spicey ones...Damn, the week before I married Lanes daddy, one ex boyfriend showed up at my shower and had to be escorted off the premisis by my friends DAD..i looked so cute as a toilet paper bride that night. another one called me long distanct to tell me he really did love me even tho he was in a rock band and was going pot and had groupies. And the boy next door said he always thought he would marry me because i was the only girl strong enough to put up with him......so hey, under that little ol wrinkled grey head.......lies..................MEMORIES, don't throw them away, ok?

ALREADY TIRED OF SUMMER

It didn't take long to get tired of summer. Here in SC, June is fine, but by the time you get to July, it is miserable outside and even August can be a sweaty , hot month. The bugs get bad, the no-see-ums bite the heck out of your legs and the gnats drive you crazy, hummin in your ears, not to mention the mosquitos! You get bites in places you can't scratch in public and at night you try to keep your ankles from itching so bad you finally reach down and rip them apart , to relieve the itch! All the flowers are heat stressed and the little darlin' squrrels are throwing out the flowers and spending time in the cooler soil of the hanging baskets! aaaaa for just a few cooler days, when the air cond. doesn't have to run full tilt and makes you dread the SCEG bill!! Being a person who loves to be outside, its tough finding a time of day to get in a walk or a little bike ride without sweating so much it drips off your nose. Looks like the pool is the cool way to exercise!! Stay cool little buddies!!

SPOILED KID?

Since i was the only child of a group of 7, my mom being the only one productive and that was after 13 years of marriage....hummm....you would have thought...oh great, another spoiled little rotten kid. But as a fact, i was so not spoiled. I got new clothes twice a year..in fall and in spring, two pair of shoes..shool shoes and summer sandals and we kept them up with polish and new soles too. When i was little and they tried their best to put me in cute little dresses, i usualy wound up outside in a mud pile or under or up in a tree. I climbed trees until i was 13 or 14. My mom use to worry because i didn't like boys yet............believe me, that changed later. I learned how to fish , clean up a car, cut grass, clean out a basement or a garage, polish shoes, from my DAD.

My mom wouldn't let me near the kitchen. That was her domain. It was a good thing too because when my DAd had a heart attack when i was 13, mom and I did everything and we did without a lot too. It took him out when i was 17, and I don't remember my Mom ever hiring a handyman to do anything. Neighbors helped out when you needed one. When i was 3 or so, my Dad asked some of his commanding officers to have a real southern cooked dinner. My mom had some help and they cooked up fried chicken, rice, gravy, green beans, squash, apple pie and some great biscuits. About half way during the dinner, i slipped down under the table(remember all these army officers were sitting around that table) and stayed and stayed. My mom finally asked me what i was doing under there? So, i answered" I'm trying to get my biscuit." " Well, hurry up" my mom said. " I can't hurry, this mans got his foot on it"! I so

loudly replied! I bet i got my biscuit right quick after that. We had pet dogs, pet cats, a couple rabbits and a big ol box turtle in our lives and a duck. that duck i got for easter and he grew up to be a big duck. I loved that duck ...he was Donald. I carried the duck by his neck and because i was so small and he grew and grew, he had a bent place in his neck where i had carried him all the time. he was a guard duck and he use to run around front of the house, quacking and nipping at all the strangers that came in the yard...well, he had to go to my Nanas house in the country for doing that and then he intimidated the chickens and the other ducks (after all he thought he was human) so much they took him further way out in the country to a man that had geese and ducks and a big pond for him to play in and defend. I didn't want him to go but he had to. So, I had the important things in my life, I always had love and family and everything i needed and not everything i wanted. I remember crying and crying when my best friend in high school got a brand new 57 Chevy convertiable and I couldn't have a car. That was one of the last real talks my Dad and i every had. He came and held me and told me how, it was not because they couldn't afford to get me a car, it was because i didn't need a car. That when the time came, and I needed one to get back and forth to college, then we would talk about it but they loved me and they knew what I needed and the difference in stuff i just wanted. Don't you wish kids today, understood the difference.???

LIFE LESSON

My first husband and also my second husband and i were in a small family business together. A little clothing store called Bums Factory Outlet here in Columbia. We had it for almost 30 years.

I had some crazy wonderful employees at that store . From the college kids, earning their 200 hours in retail business, to my wonderful seamstresses who make all the clothes fit to wear.

All of them characters..some excellent and some really out there...like the guy from Mt. Pleasant who dressed in a ladies bathing suit and posed in the window of the store one night to the beautiful young lady who had an abortion one week end and still showed up for work on Monday. To the dedicated ladies in the back, me almost being the oldest, they all became family, an extended family that I would have done anything for and they would have me also. On birthdays and special days, we had cakes, ice cream, KFC dinners and presents for all. At Thanksgiving we gave out Turkeys and Christmas hams and bonus and gifts. Because some of them had a hard life. One friend was a single mom who had raised her daughter all by herself and worked 2 jobs to make ends meet. Another had 10 children and worked beside her husband in a ditch digging business until he died and she still stayed up nights and sewed clothes for her kids to wear to school so they would have something new. And she never missed a day of work. She retired from the store and she had seen the deaths of 3 of her grown children. We laughed, fussed and cried together and each Mothers Day they all got a special flower and little gift. I did this, not because I had to, not because anyone expected it BUT because i wanted to, I wanted to for the simple reason that everyone , at some time in their life, no matter how young or how old just needs, REALLY NEEDS, to feel special. And everyone is in their own unique way, is special.

For Southern women and families, that is a way of life you have grown up with. Your friends and family are there to make you feel special. You are all up in everyones life and happenings and things bad and good. You go in a out of each others houses and no one cares. If there is a bed to be changed, clothes to be washed, food to be cooked or a kid to be looked after , watched or fussed at, you just do it. And you do it because you want to, not because you have to but you really and truly don't mind doing it and it gives you a good feeling to do it. So you young people out there who have grandparents or parents who come to you and ask to help, let them. it makes them feel good and makes them feel needed and most of all makes them feel special but mainly its because they love you. And someday, sooner or later, they will have to call on you to do for them. So don't fuss when they wash a pot, or take out the garbage, just be thankful they are around for now and healthy enough to do it.

Lord, I wish the days of leaving doors open, and keys under the mat were still here. When you could walk in your house and see a basket of vegetables and know who brought it. One time, when I lived in the country, someone came and left a great pot of wonderful catfish stew on my stove, all warm and ready to eat. Just know that to me, you all are special.

A HORSE IS A HORSE, RIGHT?

Ok, so the first critter i had to ride, wasn't ahorse at all but a goat! It fit me right good at the time.

However, that darn goat got me good, he came up and took my moon pie, wrapper and all out of my hand and ate it! Then I graduated to a pony. I have loved horses since and had some really great ones. i never minded cleaning, washing, picking out their feet, feeding them and the way they smell is great! Plus their noses and faces are so soft and gentle. Its true the outside of a horse is great for the inside of a person.