Strange Times

This is a strange fall, its been colder than normal, but the trees and leaves and foliage has been beautiful. A lot of it too....we have some turbulant times in the stock market and with wall street thats affecting all the world and the retail world and consumers very badly. People can't afford to shop, their house s are being foreclosed on, even with the deep discounts you can't buy because you have either been laid off, or can't find work, or the places you use to work are closed. Its seems like someone somewhere his trying to level the playing field for the whole world. You have the big 3 auto makers coming to congress and asking for money to survive, and yet they come is corporate jets...??.whats wit tha? They want money but they pay wages that add up to 75.00 an hour and here in the south , our auto workers are doing fine, making payroll, and putting out cars for 45.00 an hour???Someone somewhere has got to get real. Maybe we do need a big ol crash, go back to living in black and white, getting up from our seats to change the channel and use a push button phone for all our communications....we are spoiled and not living within our means and it s coming back to haunt us! Change is coming and mayb not the good kind...go back to what is NEEDED not what is WANTED.....me, i just want to see my family more. I think about them a lot and them laughing, talking, playing games, talking pictures, and being and having fun. I don't go anywhere anymore unless I am invited. i don't feel right just poppping in and i love them so much. There were some horrible things said...it will come back in spades and the karma will be satisfied. So, whatever, stay warm.....had a great visit with my oldest gran and her husband. I am sorry now none of us went to her wedding. Karma...will slap you in the face, then circle around and bite you in the ass!! Stay warm, say a prayer for family , friends, and the troops..

Hard Times for 08,09

The picture was taken in front of my business called Bums. I had this retail store for nearly 30 years and eventually added a wholesale section and another retail store called Catalog Factory Outlet. It was a long hard , hard, road working in your own business and I would never do it again ever. Especially now that the government is going to be taking most of what small business makes. This is not the time for venture or adventure. Thos of you who are working for a large company, the city, county or state or govt. be sure and keep what you got because the job market sucks now. That business I had went through some really rough times and some good times. It gave jobs to high school seniors in their first try at working, college kids needing their 200 hours to graduate, single moms with kids, and retired people who needed to work to keep going. We treated them with respect and taught them everything we could from cleaning, straingtening, putting up clothes and pricing and closing and opening and balancing out the register. Some were great, most were good , some were awful and stole from us. But they knew if they had a sick kid, we understood, if they needed time off, they could have it , and whatever else we could do for them from giving discounty to them and their family and even loaning a buck or two. We bought lunches, had birthday parties, Thanksgiving turkeys and Christmas hams, we gave gifts and bonusus at Christmas and tried to accomodate the football schedule.

We worked 7 days a week, sometimes from 7 am to 9 pm and sat and sun. WE never asked anything of an employee that we would not do ourselves. We hired people based on what we saw in them and not what was in their past and we were rewarded in our trust. We worked hard and in the years we did especially well, our employees benefited also. In the years that really sucked, I went many months withous pay to pay them and the rent and the bills. Many , many times I covered bills and payroll out of my own pocket and it shows in the amount of soc sec i get now. Though it was hard, so hard, it was also great fun and happiness. They were family and on big saturdays, we took everyone out to eat for a reward. I would not be able to do that again in this economy and now it is taking a great toll on me. For years, I saved a little bit now and then and tried my best to help my family when i could. Now, the stock market has managed to crash and take almost all i have saved in my IRA and retirements funds. i don't know what the future will hold or if I will be able to make a house payment and a car payment or have to choose between ...the housing market sucks so much, its not a good time to sell, and the move again would kill me...i will be 69 next year and i am tired. i have been for quite a while, just tired of trying to make ends meet and it would be nice to be cared for but i have been caring and looked after so many for so long, I just have only one way to go, put my trust in The Lord and pray.

Almost Fall!

Hey, its a little cooler and the trees are showing a bit of color. It has been rough the last few weeks with my family moved a little further away. I still catch myself looking across the street and checking to make sure they are in at night, but its getting better. I really miss my Logan but she is in 6th grade now and her time is limited. i know she knows that I am here for her and would be at her side in a heartbeat if she needed me. Maybe she will get some time to call every now and then. But she is 11 , going on 25 and an old grandmother is not so much fun anymore as boys, school, friends, music, The jonas brothers, and new cell phones!! Miss my kids. Some things have been said in anger and some in honesty that will be hard to overcome. i have been accused of things that never happened and misjudged and my best friends here in the neighborhood know that its not so. One of my friends here has been hurt badly and we will miss the friendships and closeness that once was. Lane is very much missed and Logan and the family get togethers we use to have. But maybe the hurts will ease and the slights will be forgotten and even if things are never as they once were, some tension will be gone and we can at least talk for a spell. Hope so. Finiances are horrible with the stock market and i worry that our way of life as we once knew it, is gone forever. Don't know what will have to our United States and the state of our finiancial status all the way from the top to the bottom. I know that i have lost a lot of money in my retirement funds and have no idea what the future holds, if I will be able to stay in my home or look for a section 8 apartment somewhere, just worry all the time and have already cut back on services, and anything i can think of...never go anywhere or spend any extra..just don't have the income that once was. Lets pray that the right man wins and that the economy can get back on track so we all won't lose what we have.!!! Thank goodness for wine and football!!

Fall brings Change

Oh no, the day has finally come when my little family of 3 plus 3 critters is moving. Its sad but glad for them. They are getting a great house and a pool but they will be missed in this neighborhood. Especially by me. I will have to get use to walking without Ellie and that will involve walking and for gosh sakes, not talking to myself...it was ok when i had the dog, people knew i was talking to her..but now...the people in little white coats will come for me...hahaha. You know they will be busy and really won't have time for this old lady for quite a while but I am close enough for them to just whizz on by and bring me a ice cream from the new little ice cream place!! Or just say Hi....Its probably my fault that they left, I visited too much, called too much, spoke my mind too much...all the things that parents and grandparents do just because they want to be near them, to touch them, to hear their voice instead of cold e-mail. We older folks are more of a "hold the picture" generation and its hard to understand. That seeing them for a minute just to know they are ok is important.

they have good jobs now and Logan is in 6th grand and spending time with her gandma will no longer be a fun thing...unless we are shopping and I am all for that!! Now if a good looking older gentleman just dropped out of the sky and fell in my lap, i wouldn't complain but as far as going looking for one..nope, after being along so long my habits are hard to break and even harder to put up with someone elses' habits, so I can make it...if someone will just call every now and then to see if I am dead or not!! So long family.....live fun and love well.

CHANGES IN LIVE

I know that changes in life occur , sometimes its a surprise, sometimes not. They come often but you never quite get use to it. I have had some changes that had made me happy and then some that completely devasated me. Most are in between. My little family that I have lived across from for the last 5 years is moving. Not far. But still gone from my sight. It has been great being able to look out the window and see them come and go and be sure they are safely in at night when Jill comes home from work late or Lane comes home from work and I see he is ok.

To be able to walk over and say Hi and swim with them and eat with them and hug them.

It will be different and scary for a while. I moved here especially to be near them and it is going to take getting use to. They won't call as often or stop by and that will be hard. I am happy for them that they get a new place to call their own and a new pool to play in and closer to Logans school . She will be on a bus route now. Lane has a good job at the school district and he seems to really like it. I will be glad for them but I still will be sad. It has made my stomach hurt and my sleep not so good, I wake up now, and look out to see if they are still there and I will cry, but I will adjust and get ok. If they will just keep me in their thoughts and a phone call or two and come by and get me every now and then so i can see them in "person", touch them and really look at them and know they are ok...and thats the most important thing...that they are ok. Doors close and doors open and you just have faith and believe that this was suppose to be.

Senior Citizens

Yep, seniors, or mature or elderly or whatever you call us. We are older and can't go as fast or think as fast or remember things that younger people do. Its a part of aging, getting older, things don't work like they use to. You get tired quicker, stuff you could do, even 5 years ago, takes so much out of you its a day or two to recover. I knew older people, my two aunts , my mother, my uncle. They were still funny, peculiar and annoying sometimes but they were family. Not like people you work with who can become family but real family, ones you could yell at, fuss with, laugh with and cry with. As they aged, I could tell things just didn't work as well as they use to and mistakes were made and laughed at and passed over. Stuff like momma wearing two different shoes to church or Amy setting the smoke detector off when she cooked in the kitchen and putting saran wrap on everything to keep the bugs off. And still , when I was 54 years old, coming in at night when i stayed with her, to cover me up and kiss me and make sure i was sleeping well. She never asked for help but we knew she needed it . So on weekends I would change her beds, wash clothes, sometimes trim her hair and take stuff that she wouldn't have to go to a big store to get like paper towels, toilet paper, shampoo, hair color (yes, even at 83), and little things like a b ook to read or some new fingernail polish. You never know if something is wrong with them because they always think they are suppose to be the strong ones, the ones taking care of you no matter how old you are. We didn't even know she was that sick because it took her not being able to get her breath for us to really almost physically take her to the emergency room. She had a collasped lung, and it was full of fluid. They drained quarts of fluid from her and it had cancer cells in it. Never one to admit defeat, she refused to come stay with me so we had someone come in a help her out. She never wanted to leave her home or her "things". When she got so bad she couldn't get upstairs, we brought a bed downstairs but then she couldn't stand long to get dressed. We took her to the hospital, but when they put an IV in her hand for fluids and wanted to do a bioposy to determine what type of cancer it was, she cried and said , it hurt too much.

So we took her to a beautiful assisted living place where she had a room, tv, some of her own

"things" and she accepted that. She would reach in the air with her hands and look at the ceiling and we asked her why ...and she said there were angels there. So we let her have her angels and soon she was one herself. My mother was stubborn and brave and her back ached so badly she walked with a cane, again, not going to the doctor until the last when they found tumors on her lower spine and did radiation...another one who wanted to come home, even tho she was on the strongest pain meds you could take...she was loopy most of the time and saw cats on the ceiling and on the curtains....but she never stopped smoking...and we sorta knew where her cancer started. So, you never know how well they are. The picture of the 80 year old waterskiing is an exception to the rule. There is one like that for every million who hurt like hell when they wake up in the morning. Thankfully I am still doing ok at 68 and a half. Just ok, I just don't have the energy or the perkiness that I use to have and probably should be looking into a retirement apartment or some place like that with services like some meals or exercist rooms and no yard work ..but they cost ..some at much as 2400.00 a month and down to no less than 1200.00. I just don't have the money , even if they supply all utilities so it will have to wait a while, until the economy gets better, or I win the lottery or I run out of money and can apply for medicaid.

Its not sad, its the facts..how many older people would ride with you somewhere but would rather stay in the car while you shop? Or when you ask them to go somewhere, they would rather you just bring them a "little something to eat back"..even your leftovers help pay for a meal. I still have the energy to shop all day with my grandaughter and son and daughter in law and I love it and I hope nver ever to not be able to do that...going with them to eat out or just ride to wal mart is a bigger thrill than having a boyfriend!! They mean so much to me as do all children to parents...so again, call your grandparents, your parents and aunts and uncles you have living...it means so much to them. Amy was 82. We cooked steaks over the charcoal and made gin and tonics and got tipsy and even washed the neighbors dog one time because he "smelled" he loved it! we woke up the next morning with dog prints on our pajamas!!As long a they lived, I talked with them at least twice a day, sometimes more. If we had had e mail then, we would have sent it back and forth many times. I never not answered the phone when they called, if the machine picked it up, I called back. Because i realized that , no matter what, they needed to know i cared and I needed them.

Part time jobs, volunterring somewhere, hobbies, are not substitute for knowing that family cares. Even if you just call when you are out to see if they need something or when you eat out, call back to see if they want you to bring them something, or go to the store and ask if they are out of anything. Because getting up and getting out and driving to the store or to eat is harder and its not so easy anymore to get in and out of a car or walk somewhere. Most of the time, they would say No, but thanks for asking. And it makes them feel so much better to know, just for that short period of time, they thought of you. It hard being older and elderly, you do need for someone to care for and about you and look out for things that you use to look out for when they needed you. Its really tough now , money is tight everywhere and people have little time or cash to spare but remember this : time is the most important thing you can give someone and it only takes a minute or two to call and ask "how are you doing, do you need anything?". I am a senior now and elderly or whatever they call it and sometimes you are just tired and really need that phone call or a hug. So call your seniors, your grandparents, your mothers and dads and be thankful you can pick up a phone or cell phone or e mail and make that call still.

4th of July!

We had a great time on the 4th! Warm sun, cold drinks, great friends and a scooter parade. A little shower didn't dampen the spirits or the parade. Cooking out and swimming in the neighbors pool was the perfect way to celebrate.

WE din't have to use any gas to go somewhere or fight the traffic just enjoy., The fireworks later

sent some small kids and a couple dogs to the inside but those of us who went in with them could still see them out the windows and it was a good show even with the little drizzle that was.!

So now the rest of the hot summer except now we are haveing some t-storms and rain and that gives us a show every evening!! not the kind i particularly like! Enjoy the rest of the summer gang!