This is a milestone for me. In April I will turn 70. I keep up with a lot of my classmates who will also turn 70 all this year..they look good and active, they tell me i look good too but I wonder. I am doing ok with the aches and pains i have acquired due to very hard work for 35 years. I don't think I want to see them and I am kinda glad I have not been to any of the reunions. Some of them i envy and some i feel comfortable with. Maybe it is taking a good look at all the successes and failures you have accomplished since you graduated in 1958...phew, who knew that we would be going through all that we have. All the changes and all the inventions and all the social, economic and personal trials and walking on fire that we endured. We use to be called the greatest generation. Now I think it is the forgotten generation.. how many of us have outlived our money and our usefulness.??? huh? you think we don't think about that when the month is longer than our income? When the bills come due and you know you are going to have to put those extra medical and tax and dentist and presents bills on your charge card that is already maxed out? Yes, we all do. And it is so bad that sometimes you wish you had Dr. Kervorkians number. Most days are good and happy and fantastic, you can find things to do, people to help, be there for someone..but who is there for you? Really? and it can come over you like a ton of bricks and you find yourself overwhelmed, totally destroyed, fighting the sadness and despair that is like a ton of bricks dumped over your head. You can't fight it, so you let it cover you, take you, let the feelings happen and then shake it off and continue, still wondering what the hell you are here for. Last year my birthday passed quietly, no cards to flowers. My son called but we didn't get to go eat until later that week. So , we feel forgotten, disposable, not useful for anyting anymore and ready to give up...what is there? No one cares, no one calls, no one send cards , everyone is too busy and challenged with their own business. Don't work so hard, Happy Spring..my birthday is April 19, 2010 and I will be 70.
